Unearthly Rains
by Wakkowarnerlover
Summary: Danville is being terrorized by a strange slimy substance that makes all the humans behave strangely. Perry discovers the slime is being used by a terrifying species of alien to take over Danville. Humans, animals and ghosts alike must work together to defend Danville. NOTE: THIS STORY WILL NOT MAKE MUCH SENSE WITHOUT READING THE OTHER STORIES IN MY SERIES FIRST.
1. Chapter 1

**Please Note Before Reading: This story really will make very little sense without reading the other ones in my series. I almost didn't post it on here because it doesn't do well as a stand-alone story. You can certainly read it without reading all my other stories first, but it may be hard to understand what's going on- especially since this is a very strange tale anyway! Thanks for reading! - Waks**

"Ferb, you put a baloney sandwich in my side of the locker."

"Oops." Ferb said. He pushed a button in the locker door and the sandwich materialized in the top locker.

"How did you guys manage to morph your bottom and top lockers together?" Perry asked.

"Well, we used an atomic sy-"

"Forget it, I don't know science. Very impressive, though."

"Thanks for coming to our parents' night, Perry." Phineas said. "I wish mom and dad could have come. But they were busy."

"No problem." Perry said. "You have a nice school."

"But our school colors are weird." Phineas sighed.

"Khaki and clear." Ferb said.

"You guys should suggest changing them." Perry said.

"Good idea!" Phineas said. "Ferb, let's invent a new color!"

"You can't just make a new color no one's see-" Perry stopped. "Never mind. Nothing's impossible with you two."

Ferb closed the locker doors.

"Hey, I wasn't done yet!" Phineas said.

"Oops." Ferb opened it again.

"You have a picture of a blowfish in your locker?" Perry asked.

"A buh-lowfish." Ferb corrected.

"Right." Perry said.

"Our school play is gonna happen soon." Phineas said. "Will you come, Perry? It's the Wizard Of Oz."

"Sure I'll come."

"Good. We were afraid you'd miss it for the world."

"The expression is 'I wouldn't miss it for the world'."

"Well, we were afraid you would miss it. Because sometimes you have to. Your job IS saving the world, after all."

Perry shrugged.

They started down the hallway to leave.

"I like the parents' night sticker Mr. Morrison gave me." Phineas said. "It has a puppy on it."

"I named my puppy on my sticker Philip." Ferb said.

"I named mine Remus." Phineas said.

"You name EVERYTHING Remus." Ferb said.

"I like the name. It's the name of Romulus's brother in the Roman legend. They were really close, like us, Ferb."

"But then they killed each other."

"No, Romulus killed Remus."

"Don't get any inspiration, you two." Perry said. "The Romans weren't always right."

"Well, they were twins." Phineas said. "We aren't twins. So we're different."

"You two are the same age, though." Perry said.

"I'm older by a month." Ferb said.

"So we're like twins that are a month apart." Phineas said.

"Wonderful visual." Perry said.

** ...**

Perry had just started falling asleep in his chair when Monogram's voice woke him.

"Agent P! PSST! Wake up!"

Perry opened one eye.

"Sorry to disturb you, Agent P, but there have been some strange things going on around Danville. People behaving oddly. Cars behaving oddly. Plants behaving oddly. Carl behaving oddly. Well, I guess that isn't strange."

"Sir!" Carl protested.

"Anyway, we suspect Doofenshmirtz. Find him and get to the bottom of it."  
>Perry gave a sleepy salute and left his lair.<p>

** ...**

Perry ran down the street, taking in anything he could. He didn't actually notice anything out of the ordinary, save for the fact that Buford van Stomm was licking the sidewalk, but that didn't seem like anything to be concerned about.

Perry entered Doofenshmirtz's building and rode the elevator up to the top floor. He went to Doofenshmirtz's door and knocked.

"Who is it?" Doofenshmirtz asked, opening the door.

Perry punched him in the face.

** ...**

"I know it's hard to believe, but I really didn't do anything." Doofenshmirtz said, looking out of the window. "I didn't make that girl run backwards up a tree, or that spot of grass there turn blue, or that kid lick the sidewalk. But I wish I had. It'd be easy to take over."

Perry joined him by the window.

"It's kind of scary, really." Doofenshmirtz said. "I don't know what could be causing it. I mean, look! Whatever it is made that kid's hair turn green."

Perry saw Ferb walking down the street.

Without Phineas.

That was strange.

"Oh, that's just Ferbeus." Doofenshmirtz said. "Where's his twin brother Phil?"

"I don't know." Perry chattered.

"I think I'm gonna lock all the doors tonight." Doofenshmirtz said. "And leave Norm on watch. This is really creeping me out."

** ...**

"Strange things around Danville?" Phineas asked. "Nah, I didn't notice anything."

"Well, for one thing, Ferb's not here." Perry said.

"He had to go get a part for a machine we were making." Phineas said, taking a bite of zucchini.

"And for another thing, you're eating zucchini."

"Yeah…"

"You hate zucchini."

Phineas looked down at his plate. "You're right. I have no idea why I'm eating this. I just kind of really wanted zucchini today."

"See? Strange things. And when I was walking home from Doofenshmirtz's, I saw a balloon holding a kid."

Phineas pushed his plate away. "Maybe Doofenshmirtz made another inator."

"That's what I thought. But he swears it wasn't him."

"Weird." Phineas said. "Really weird."

Ferb entered the room. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Things have been out of the ordinary lately." Phineas said.

"Like how?" Ferb asked. "Buford licking the sidewalk?"

"No, that's normal. Like balloons holding kids." Phineas said.

"Grass changing color." Perry supplied.

"Me eating zucchini."

Ferb raised an eyebrow. "You ate zucchini? Okay, I'm going back to bed."  
>"It's weird, right?" Phineas said.<p>

"Maybe today's National Weird Day and no one bothered to tell us." Ferb said.

"But then how did the grass know?" Phineas asked.

"Because the grass was informed." Ferb said.

** ...**

When Perry entered the O.W.C.A the next morning, the animals were all gathered in the main room.

Monogram stood in front of them, looking very distressed. Carl and Monty were behind him, also worried.

"Ah, good. Agent P." Monogram said. "Please, have a seat. I need to talk to all of you."

Perry sat down next to Pinky the Chihuahua.

Monogram cleared his throat. "You all may have noticed that people and plants have been doing some strange things since yesterday. Well, Carl and I tracked it to a strange slimy substance that Danville was apparently exposed to. The slime is not visible but can be touched. Upon further analysis it was found that this slime matches no substance known to us."

The animals began to chitter.

"Quiet, please." Monogram said. "We discovered that this substance has a strong, viral effect on humans, technology and plants, but it does not have a very strong effect on animals. Unfortunately, it is getting stronger all the time. In a few days, unless we find the source of this slime and destroy it… we humans may lose our sanity completely. This means that I will not be able to guide you. I need to trust that all of you will do whatever you can to get everything back to normal. Remember, you're not alone. Work with each other."

Perry frowned.

"I know this is frightening." Monogram said. "We have no idea what is causing this or why. It may be terribly dangerous. But you have to fix this. Please, agents. We need your help."

Kyle the kangaroo stood up as though he wanted to say something.

Carrie the cat stood as well.

Slowly, one by one, all of the agents stood up.

Monogram smiled sadly. "Thank you, agents. Thank you."

** ...**

"I wish I could tell myself this slime stuff wasn't affecting the boys, but yesterday Phineas was eating zucchini." Perry said.

"Yesterday Isabella ate grass." Pinky said. "At first I thought she was doing it for a Fireside-patch thing or whatever, because sometimes she does weird things like that. But it turns out she was just doing it for fun."

"I feel really alone right now." Perry said. "I mean, I can't go to the boys. I can't go to Doofenshmirtz. What am I going to do?"

"Remember what Monogram said." Pinky said. "You're not alone. All the agents have each other."

"I'm surrounded by tons of people." Perry said. "But I'm still as alone as ever."


	2. Chapter 2

"Daisy, Daisy, give me your hand or two…"

"No, it's give me your answer, do."

"No, it's hand or two."

"Which is right, Perry?" Phineas asked as Perry ambled into their room. "Give me your answer, do?"

"Or give me your hand or two?" Ferb asked.

"I don't know." Perry said wearily. He flopped down on Phineas's bed. "Is that the song about the dude who tries to convince a girl she'd look better on a bicycle because he can't afford a carriage?"

"Yeah." Phineas said. "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do…"

"Hand or two." Ferb said.

"I'd go crazy if I can't be with you, I'm thinking about our marriage, I can't afford a carriage, but you'd look sweet, upon a seat, of a bicycle built for two."

"I think it's 'I act crazy all for the love of you'." Ferb said. "'It won't be a stylish marriage'."

"Perrybear." Phineas said, poking Perry with his finger. "Are you awake?"  
>"Yes." Perry murmured.<p>

He fell asleep a moment later.

** ...**

_"I want another baby." Prince said._

_Perry shook his head. "No more. I have five. I can't handle six."_

_"You can handle two."_

_"Look. The boys are like my children to me. I can't commit myself to my own children, and I wind up feeling like a bad parent."_

_"I don't want Sneakers to feel lonely when I'm gone." Prince said. "And you're not a bad parent. You took care of her after she hatched. You were there when she hatched, even. Where was I? Stuck in the hospital."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"Please."_

_"I can't."_

_The room began to float. Phineas flew in on a giant balloon._

_"Its name is Remus." He told Perry as he flew past. A large clock nearly whacked him in the head._

_The scene changed to Prince's apartment, late at night._

_"I don't get why I'd have to tell you every time something happens!" Prince snapped._

_"It's not like I'm asking you not to do it again. I'm just asking you to tell me!" Perry said. "Why didn't you tell me you kissed Malice?"_

_"He kissed ME! I blew him off because I'm in love with you! And I didn't tell you because I knew you'd get ANGRY!"_

_"Of COURSE I'm angry! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!"_

_A cow floated through the room and ate the bedside table._

** ...**

Perry woke up.

"Stupid brain. I've already experienced all that. There's no need for you to make me see it all again." He muttered.

He looked around. Phineas and Ferb's room was dark. The boys were both asleep in their beds.

Perry grabbed a piece of paper and ripped it in half. He wrote WENT FOR A WALK on both halves and placed them in the boys' hands.

Only Ferb shifted his position a little and murmured something about rectangles.

Perry crept downstairs and crawled out through the petflap. He walked down the street for a while before breaking into a run.

He reached the curb and stopped to take a rest.

"Hands where I can see them. Turn around slowly." Said a robotic voice behind him.

Perry froze with fear.

"Turn around." The voice said.

Perry slowly raised his hands and turned around. He found himself facing a red-and-white robot pointing some kind of laser gun at him.

"Oh." The robot said. "Your heatwaves were giving off a panicked signal. Thought you were up to no good. I guess I should use my eyes rather than my sensors."

The robot removed its head. Underneath was the head of a female platypus.

"Oh, and you're a fellow agent too. I feel really bad. Sorry." Without the helmet, her voice sounded very young and enthusiastic, as though she were happy to have something to be sorry about.

"Uh… that's okay. Thanks for not frying me. You're an agent?"

"Yep, I'm part of the O.W.C.A.S.F.W.C.A, O.W.C.A Special Forces Without a Cool Acronym."

"Owcasfwooca? You seem a little young to be part of that."

"I'm kind of advanced for my age." The platypus said. "I got a lot of intelligence from my parents. Anyway, my name's Remy." She held out a robotic hand.

"Perry." Perry said. "What's with the suit?"

"I'm not very good at fighting." Remy said. "I'm kind of tiny. So I made this suit to make me taller and stronger."

"You made that?"

"Yep. I also made the brainwave-sensing fabric that I wear underneath. I move the arms and legs of this suit just as a normal creature would move its limbs. Except I'm not actually doing anything with my real paws. They're just sitting in this machine." Remy folded up the helmet with her robotic arms and attached it to the front of her suit.

"That's… interesting." Perry said.

"Yeah. Some people find it kind of creepy at first, but they get used to it." Remy said. "Sorry I almost attacked you. I'm looking for the source of this stuff." She held up her robotic hand. A picture of green, sparkling slime appeared on a small screen in the palm. "It's usually invisible."

"I'm on that mission, too." Perry said. "The stuff that's making all the humans and plants go crazy, right?"  
>Remy nodded.<p>

"Are you any closer to it?"

"No." Remy said sadly. "It's spread out everywhere, and it doesn't seem to lead anywhere."

"Strange." Perry said. "Ack, something wet just landed on my head."

He looked up. Nothing was there.

Remy put her helmet back on and wiped the liquid off. "It's that stuff. I can see it when my helmet's on."

"So… it's coming out of the sky?" Perry asked.

Both of them looked up nervously. Nothing else happened.

"I'd better get back home." Perry said. "Good luck."

"Thanks." The robotic voice responded. Remy stepped off of the curb and walked toward Downtown Danville.

Perry headed in the opposite direction.

** ...**

"Perry, hold still!"

Perry tried to wrench his foot out of Phineas's hand. "It tickles!"

"Make sure you don't trim the poisonous claw." Ferb said.

"I won't." Phineas said. "Perry, stop squirming! Just five seconds ago you were complaining because your claws were too long!"

"Five seconds ago I wasn't getting them trimmed."

"Here." Ferb said. He took Perry's foot and trimmed his claws.

"How come he lets you do it?" Phineas asked.

"You have to hold his leg steady and firm." Ferb said.

"The only reason I wasn't holding his leg steady is because he was flailing it all over the place!" Phineas said.

"I have the magic touch." Ferb said. "Now that they're all nicely trimmed, what color should we paint them?"

Perry jerked his foot away. "All right, that's enough."

"A cheerful shade of neon pink?" Ferb asked.

"Very funny, Ferb." Perry said.

"I want a peach." Phineas said suddenly.

"Me too." Ferb said.

"Wait… a peach? Where did that come from?" Perry asked.

"I don't know. I just want a peach." Phineas said.

Both boys ran downstairs.

Perry sighed.

Whatever that slime was, it was working fast.

** ...**

"And so we all agree." Peter said. "We must save the pandas."

No one was actually listening to Peter. Most of the animals were depressed about the strange things their owners were doing.

"Dinah tried to fly a kite upside down." Darren the duck said gloomily. "She was really mad when she couldn't figure out how to do it."

"Phineas and Ferb nailed peaches to their ceiling." Perry said. "I had peach juice dripping on me all night."

"Isabella tied all of her stuffed animals to her and walked around the house singing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' in Ferb Latin." Pinky said.

"You win." Perry and Darren said in unison.

"THE GIANT PANDAS NEED OUR HELP!" Peter announced. "WE MUST DONATE MONEY TO THEM!"

"That's nice, Peter. Just a second." Perry said. He turned back to Pinky and Darren. "I'm worried. They won't listen to anything I say."

"Hey, Lowe!" Pinky called to the fennec fox walking by. "You're a psychiatrist. Do you know why the slime is making all the humans go crazy?"

Lowe shook his head. "I deal with emotional problems for animals, not physical problems for humans. Ask me later for help with anything emotional, and I'll be happy to assist."

"Actually… I had this weird dream a couple of nights ago." Perry said. "Could you help me with it?"

Lowe nodded.

** ...**

"…And then this cow ate the bedside table." Perry said. "So basically that's it. If I remembered correctly."

Lowe thought for a moment. He wrote a couple of things down on his notepad.

"Well?" Perry asked.

"Let's see. A balloon could symbolize the desire to escape from something in life. Did the giant clock nearly run into your head or Phineas's?"

"Phineas's."

"Hmm… well, to the cow… cows are herd animals, so it could be that you feel very alone. However, they also symbolize parental care, which wouldn't fit because you didn't want to try for a baby."

"Um…" Perry blushed. "Actually, later on…"

Lowe didn't make him explain. He simply nodded. "In that case, parental care would fit. And it would make sense that the cow was eating the bedside table. You feel like you're having trouble caring for all of your children. Biting off more than you can chew."

Perry gave a small shrug.

"You also may be feeling depressed and alone because you haven't yet made up with your girlfriend." Lowe said. "As well as lonely for your owners, who you feel are drifting away from you… as time goes on. I believe that is what your dream is telling you."

"It makes sense." Perry said sadly. "It's only a matter of time before there are peaches all over the whole house."

Lowe handed Perry a tissue. "You managed to get my father out of my hair." He smiled. "I'm very sure you'll find out what's causing this problem with the humans. I'm sorry if I upset you. I should have explained everything slower."

Perry shook his head. "It's not your fault. It's the fault of whoever is spilling this slime in Danville."

** ...**

"Hi, Perry." Phineas said.

He was looking up at Ferb, who had taken every chair in the house outside and begun to stack them.

"Why is he doing that?" Perry asked.

"I don't know. He just said 'chairs' and started taking them. Ferb, what are you doing?"

"Chairs." Ferb responded.

"You know there were peaches on our ceiling this morning?" Phineas said. "It was really weird. I remember nailing them up there, but I don't remember why. What purpose do nailed peaches serve?"

"I wouldn't know." Perry said.

"You sound upset. Don't worry, I'm sure Ferb will put the chairs back."

Perry sighed and gave Phineas a hug.


	3. Chapter 3

Monogram and Carl were hopping around the agency on pogo sticks.

"Your move." Perry said to Peter.

Peter looked at his cards. "You got any twos?"

"Go fish." Perry said.

Peter pulled a card out from the deck. "We seem to be missing a lot of cards."

Perry sighed. "Monty flushed half the deck down the toilet this morning."

"It's strange to see the humans going all wacky." Peter said. "You never realize how dependent you are on them until they're not there."  
>"Occasionally they go back to normal." Perry said. "I had a couple of conversations with Phineas and Ferb last night."<p>

Lowe wandered into the room, covering his neck. "Is Monogram… normal at the moment?"

Perry pointed at Monogram, who was currently yelling at Carl because he was unable to do wheelies on his pogo stick.

Lowe frowned.

"I can help you with something if you need it." Perry said.

"It's nothing, most likely." Lowe said. "I've seen other animals with it today."

"With what?" Perry asked.

Lowe grimaced and removed his hand from his neck. A flower was sitting innocently on his shoulder.

"You get seeds in your fur or something?" Perry asked.

"I don't know how it happened." Lowe said. "But when it appeared… I don't know what it is, exactly."

Perry came over and took a closer look.

"It's a pretty flower." He said. "Is it attached to you?"

Lowe picked the flower up and held it out. "Not exactly. But I've realized that though it's possible to move it, I can't stop it from touching any part of me." He appeared to be trying very hard to open his fingers. "If I put it back on my shoulder, it stays there. But some piece of me has to be touching it at all times."

"You said other animals have this flower?"

Lowe nodded.

"Strange. When did it appear?"

"Last night."

"I'm giving out free pistachio nuts!" Monogram announced, tossing some into the air. "Free pistachio nuts for everybody!"

Kyle the kangaroo opened up an umbrella to shield himself from the raining nuts.

"You don't think… I mean, you know… your…" Perry said.

Lowe smiled weakly. "No. My father won't bother me any more, thanks to you. Besides, he never knew what flowers were. And I saw something similar in a back alley near the Danville thrift store, which I'm sure he's never been to."

"Hmm." Perry said.

** ...**

Perry recognized the alley as the old hideout of the Silencers, the gang Prince once belonged to.

The first things he noticed were a few broken bottles, a trashcan, and a beat-up door barely big enough for much more than a dog to enter.

Strange, plantlike growths had developed on the trashcan. They appeared to be feeding on it.

"What's with the plants?" He wondered aloud.

The plant steamed a little.

Perry took a step back, nearly hitting the beat-up door. He stared at it for a moment, then back at the can.

He knocked on the door.

There was no answer.

He pushed the door open. He had to use a lot of force. The hinges weren't working very well.

Cautiously, he entered.

It was about the size of a tiny bedroom. There was an old couch and a bunk bed inside. The walls had once had some kind of wallpaper on it, which was now ripped and faded. It was very dark.

On one of the bunk beds sat a small bag with coins spilling out of it. There was a chest-of-drawers nearby. The drawers were all opened and their contents spilled out over the floor, as though someone had raided them.

Perry bent down next to the pile. It was mostly clothing. He pulled out a pair of scuffed boots and a belted black skirt.

He carefully folded the skirt and placed it to one side with the boots. He searched in the pile until he found a sequined leather jacket.

The jacket had handcuffs on the ends of the sleeves. The handcuffs had been broken apart by a saw.

Perry folded it up and placed it to the side.

He heard close footsteps. Perry quickly yanked a few more clothing articles out of the pile and stood up.

"You." Rex the cat growled, staring at Perry. "I thought I killed you."

"Oh, you must have met my evil twin." Perry said.

"Taking things, are we?"

"These don't belong to you." Perry said.

"They do." Rex said. "They were in my home, and therefore they are mine. She forfeited them to me when she left the Silencers."

Perry dashed past him.

"And don't come back!" Rex called after him as he ran out of the alley.

** ...**

"Ooh, nice duds." Peter said when Perry returned to the agency. Perry placed them on the floor.

"They're Prince's. He never gave them back to her." Perry said in disgust.

"Oh." Peter said. "That lizard?"

"No, not Damien. Rex. Her former leader from the Silencers. Jerk."

Peter shrugged. "Do you want to play Go Fish?"

Perry shook his head. He glanced over at some of the other agents.

Remy was sitting at a table with Gary the goose and Baby Ned the narwhal. She was showing them something on her robotic hand.

"You ever seen Remy around?" Perry asked Peter. "I don't remember her being here before."

Peter shrugged. "No. She's probably not a new recruit, though. They're usually babies, and she looks about two or three."

"Three may be pushing it a bit. I think around one." Perry said.

"Still too old for a new recruit." Peter said.

Perry nodded.

Remy caught his eye and smiled at him. Perry smiled back.

"That is one thing." Peter said. "She only appeared when the slime did."

"Peter…"

"I overthink things." Peter said.

Perry yawned.

"Tired?"

"Yeah. I think I'll sleep in my lair tonight. Home's not so easy to sleep in anymore. I always have to keep the boys from doing something weird."

"Will you be lonely?"

"I don't know." Perry said. "I didn't really think about being lonely." He sighed. "I guess I should… I don't know. Maybe I'll listen to an audiobook or something."

"May I recommend 'A Very Handsome Panda' by yours truly? I got it published last year, and it's read by Devon the dog."

"No thanks. I read that book already. All you did was write 'A very handsome panda' like eighty-two times."

"It was a motif." Peter said. "A recurring symbol for life."

"To show how annoying life can get?"

"Hey, it'll help you fall asleep."

** ...**

_"I am a handsome panda. A very handsome panda. Such a handsome panda." Said the panda chief._

_"I'm sure you are." Perry said, adjusting his panda-bear hat._

_"Handsome panda, handsome, panda, Perry, Perry, Perry…" The panda chief sang._

The panda chief's voice slowly faded into Phineas's voice. "Perry! Perry!"

Perry woke up.

"What?" He rubbed his eyes.

"It's time to get ready to go!" Phineas said. "You promised you'd come to our Wizard of Oz play!"

Ferb nodded.

"Wha- did I sleep all morning? It's late at night already?"

"Yes, come on! We have to get in our costumes!"

Perry followed Phineas and Ferb out of his lair and up into their backyard.

"Ferb, where's my top hat costume?" Phineas asked. He turned to Perry. "I'm the top hat." He said proudly.

"Um… I think it's called the Tin Man." Perry said. "Or the Metal Man… or something. Been a while since I read the book."

"No, I'm the top hat." Phineas insisted.

Ferb came over with a black-and-white strip of paper. He tied it around Phineas's shoe and glued a paper top hat on top.

"Perfect." Phineas said.

"Um… I hate to be a bother, but isn't a costume… supposed to, you know… go on your whole body? Not just your shoe?"

"Oh yeah." Phineas said. "Ferb, get Candace's platypus costume."

"I thought you were a top hat." Perry said, beginning to get annoyed.

"The top hat is a platypus." Phineas said.

Ferb came back a few moments later, and Phineas put on his costume. He started hopping to the car so as not to ruin his top hat costume.

Ferb was dressed in a purple suit.

"Come on, mom, we have to go." Phineas called.

"Hold on, Phineas." Linda shouted from the kitchen. "I'm almost done freezing the chocolate milk ice cubes. Why doesn't it freeze faster?"

Perry sighed. "I'll walk you two there."

"Yay, thanks Perry!" Phineas said.

** ...**

"Thank you for coming to the Wizard of Oz!"

The curtain opened on Ferb, some kid in pajamas, and another kid wearing a Ducky Momo bike helmet.

The children began to sing the intro to "Tiny Store of Terrors."

Perry was fairly certain the famous musical Tiny Store of Terrors had nothing to do with the Wizard of Oz.

"Tiny store, tiny store of terror, bop shoo bop, so much terror terror…"

Phineas jumped onto the stage.

The four launched into a song from North Atlantic, "I'm Gonna Pet That Cat Right Outta My Hat".

Perry sighed. At least all the people attending the play were just as crazy as the kids performing it. They clapped and cheered.

Perry's alert phone started beeping. He looked around before he answered it. He doubted people would get mad at him for talking on the phone in the state they were in.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Perry! It's Remy! We're getting some real strange signals from Danville Mountain, and when we came to look at it, it was all covered in woodchips! We're gonna climb it and see if we can find out what's going on. Slime's everywhere around this area. I think we might kinda be close! Anyway, we'll need a field agent's help and none are available."

"Roger."

"My name's Remy."

"Right. I'll be there."

Perry hung up and looked up at Phineas and Ferb. They were doing a hoedown dance to a tragic song that Baljeet was singing, while the kid in pajamas was sticking his finger in his cheek to make a popping noise.

"Sorry, boys. I'm gonna have to miss this for the world." Perry whispered. "I hope you understand. I love you."

They didn't hear him, of course.

But as Perry slipped out, his eyes locked with Phineas's for a moment.

He could have sworn he saw a flash of conscious sadness pass over his face. But the hoedown dance continued.

Perry dashed off into the night.


	4. Chapter 4

Perry skidded to a stop and gazed up at Danville Mountain.

It was completely covered in lightly-colored wood shavings.

"There you are." Said a metallic voice. Remy appeared in full robotic armor, followed by a broad-shouldered goat who was holding a large stungun.

"Wonderful, a fellow male." The goat mumbled.

"Sorry?" Perry said.

"He hates girls." Remy said, playfully nudging the goat in the side. "Perry, meet fellow O.W.C.A.S.F.W.C.A member, Boris."

Boris gave a nod. "So, are we scaling this mountain?"

"You tell me. You two are the ones who found it."

"The slime leads upward." Remy said, using her robotic hand to illuminate the goo. "So I'd say yes."

"All right then." Perry said.

It was difficult to climb. The wood chips kept giving way, and Perry was annoyed with Boris's heavy breathing.

Twice Boris stopped to rest. Perry held out a hand to him, but Boris waved him away.

Remy was the only one who seemed to be able to scale the mountain with no trouble. She reached the top before either of them.

"Uh-oh." She suddenly said, her voice no longer electronic.

Perry stopped and nearly slipped as Boris crashed into him. "What?"

"Strange growths everywhere. And my electronics just gave out." Remy pulled out her raygun and tried to fire it. "Nothing's working."

Perry reached the top and pulled himself up.

Strange flowers were scattered all over the top of Danville Mountain, which appeared very marshy. Plants that looked like tentacles inhabited the spots where grass had once grown.

"I don't like this." Remy whimpered.

"Me neither." Perry said.

Boris clambered up and tried to stun one of the plants. "This stunner isn't working, either. Use caution, you two."

"A boat?" Perry said. "What the heck is going on?"

A river that hadn't been on the mountain the last time Perry scaled it had suddenly produced a small wooden boat, which bobbed ominously on the dark shimmering water.

"Can't analyze it." Remy said. "No electronics."

A huge wind blew. The mountain began to disintegrate under their feet.

"Guess we have no choice now." Perry said.

"You go first." Boris shoved Remy into the boat and hopped in after her.

Perry pushed the boat off and jumped in.

The boat floated past the flowers and tentacles. As they drifted, the strange plants seemed to get taller, darker and slimier.

The mountain had straightened out into a flat surface. The sky was completely blocked out by the plants.

"We're drifting toward that metal cave." Remy said.

Two large doors slid open. The boat cracked into pieces on a cement floor. Perry, Boris and Remy all fell on their faces.

Perry heard the doors slide closed behind them. He pushed himself into a sitting position.

They were in a small, dimly lit steel room. A few cabinets were against the walls. Something was printed in red on the wall. Perry didn't understand the language.

Two doors slid open to their left, and a tall human woman walked in. She had short, grey hair and small green eyes. She looked at them.

"Hello there." She said.

Perry stared at her. Her voice was friendly, yet cold.

"You don't appear to be the same as the majority of them." She said. "Who are you?"

Perry gave a meaningless chatter.

"Oh." The woman said. "You don't speak in this tongue."

She picked up a rusty box and rubbed what looked like chalk on it.

Perry watched her suspiciously.

"I am Gretalyn." She said. "And you are?"

"Why does it matter?" Perry asked. "Why are we here?"

To his surpise, it came out as "Phizlet coinatlox? Phizmixtuo leerbiz?"

The woman smiled as though she found him amusing. "You're here because you came here. Now. Who are you?"

"Perry."

"The other ones?"

"Remy. Boris."

"Ah. I am Gretalyn." Gretalyn made a strange motion with her head that seemed to be some form of greeting.

"Are you the one causing the slime?" Perry attempted to ask. Instead he asked, "Mixneeo xindry treboxatim?"

"Slime? Are you referring to this?" Gretalyn squeezed an invisible substance in her hand. "It is a nice thing, isn't it? Created by top scientists from where I come from. Makes humans go bonkers."

"Mitleerneeo codaetis? Fi… neeo zix human?"

"No, I am not human." Gretalyn gave him another evil smile. "And I come from the planet Trizbaale, to answer your first question. And to answer all other questions that seem inevitable, I will explain. I have come to reinvent my own city. Mockery and scorn drove me from my own planet. I gathered my own followers- thousands of what humans call 'aliens', studied up on human life, and got scientists to create this goo. It will make the humans unable to defend themselves. I shall take over. I shall enslave the humans of Danville. And as soon as I figure out some things about your species, since you don't seem like the kinds of humans I studied, I shall prevent you from uprising as well. And Danville shall become Gretalynville."

Perry narrowed his eyes. "Neeo zix catakia!"  
>"I WILL get away with it." Gretalyn said, her eyes glowing. "We Trizbaaleans are far superior in both technology, psychological manipulation and physical strength. If I showed you my true form, you would cower in fear."<p>

"Zix reeo spickzentis!"

"In a moment, I shall transfer you back to your native tongue. In a moment. First you must answer some questions." Gretalyn said. "What is the main weakness of your species? Answer truthfully. I detect lies."

Perry remained silent.

"And that creature there, what is his? I don't care about your robot. I know how to defeat robots. But what would you say would cause you to… lose it?"

Perry said nothing.

"I would never enslave you." Gretalyn said. "Answer truthfully, and you will be rewarded."

Perry folded his arms.

Gretalyn's eyes gleamed. "Do you need to be persuaded?"

Perry watched her.

Her eyes began to glow bright red.

Perry wailed in pain and fell to the ground, holding his stomach. Boris rushed to his side.

"Answer me!" Gretalyn said, her eyes returning to normal. The searing pain vanished.

Perry shook his head.

Gretalyn's eyes grew red again. Perry saw spots forming in front of his eyes.

_"Agent P, stop looking at the bird outside and pay attention!"_

_Perry stared at Monogram. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the bird pecking a flower._

_"You need to focus. I am training you how to resist torture. You see, all animals, when in fatal situations, go into a shock that prevents them from feeling any pain or being aware of what is happening. Even though that stops them from having a painful death, it doesn't exactly help them get away. I am going to train you to voluntarily go into shock without losing consciousness or your ability to move."_

Perry drove the pain away from his body. He felt serene and peaceful, as though he were floating.

He slowly walked over to Gretalyn, who was swimming in front of his eyes.

Her eyes were still red, but they were dimmer than before. They seemed to be growing tired. They faded back to normal.

The world stopped spinning. Perry felt all feeling return to his body.

"Strange." Gretalyn said. "Strange. You resist pain. If a scientist could experiment… find out how you do that…" She licked her lips.

Perry pointed to the door.

"Let you out. I think not." Gretalyn said.

Perry took out his grappling gun.

"I am far more powerful than you think, earthling." Gretalyn hissed. "Your resistance to pain cannot help you."

Perry fired.

Gretalyn leapt. A giant bang sounded.

The room exploded into green flames. Perry was blown backward. He felt himself falling from a great height.

He hit the pavement of Danville Central. The wind was knocked from his body.

"IN FIVE MINUTES." Gretalyn's voice boomed, echoing through all of Danville. Perry didn't see her anywhere. "IN FIVE MINUTES BEGINS THE INVASION. EVERY SINGLE CREATURE IN DANVILLE SHALL BE TAKEN TO MY NEW HEADQUARTERS. MY FOLLOWERS ARE TAKING POSITION BESIDE EVERY HOUSE. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE."

Perry sat up. He looked to his right.

Remy was lying motionless on the ground, her armor broken up around her.

Very carefully, Perry removed the shell of metal from her. He sucked in his breath.

He had expected Remy to be at least a year old. But without her armor, her size was barely large enough to be more than six weeks old.

Remy was a _baby_.

"Remy." Perry whispered. "Remy. Are you okay?"

Remy gave a shuddering breath and opened her eyes. She looked dizzy.

"Where do you live?"

"I don't know the address." She breathed.

"What's your last name?"

"I don't know."

"Full name. Any name. I need to figure out how to get you help."

Remy coughed.

Perry picked her up. She was shaking.

"Boris…"

"He'll be fine."

"Remus."

Perry frowned. "I'm sorry?"

"Remus. That… is my full name. Remy… is short for Remus."

Perry felt as though the breath had been knocked from him again.

"Are you sure?" He whispered.

Remy nodded. "Remus…"

** ...**

Perry ran up the stairs, trying his best to keep Remy from moving too much.

He reached a hallway and passed almost all the doors. He knocked on the second-to-last one.

"Open." He whispered. "Please open."

The door opened.

"What?" Prince asked irritably, rubbing her eyes.

Without a word, Perry grabbed her and kissed her.

After a long moment, he pulled away. Prince was gazing at him with tears in her eyes.

"You came back."

Perry nodded. "Later… later… she needs help."

He handed Remy to Prince. Prince stroked Remy's forehead.

"Come in." She said.

"Thank you." Perry said. "For keeping your promise. For letting me name our next child."

"Always." Prince said. "Come in. Help me figure out what's wrong with her."


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey, Sneakers." Perry said.

Sneakers was padding around the floor of Prince's apartment, making pawprints that were incredibly tiny. She looked up at him and blinked her huge eyes.

Prince was examining Remy.

"We'd better hurry." Perry said. "And get as far away from Danville as we can. Aliens are going to invade in three minutes. We can't stay here."

Prince narrowed her eyes. "No one gets in here unless I say so."

"You can't hold them off, Prince. These guys are powerful. All electronics are useless. Nothing else does much damage, either. I fired my grappling gun at one, and… I think I got the worst of it."

Prince huffed. "We're gonna let them push us around?"

"Prince, we have to go. We have to keep the pups safe."

Prince sighed. "All right. Grab Sneaks."

Sneakers had begun to levitate. When she got a foot off the ground, she began to spin around slowly, glowing a faint pink color and giving off the scent of vanilla.

Perry picked her up out of the air and put her under one arm. The vanilla smell made him light-headed. He wanted to get her the best, safest, most comfortable house in the world… he would get her every single sanctuary he could find…

Perry snapped out of it. He dashed down the stairs after Prince.

They stopped in the parking lot of the apartment complex, next to a silver van. Prince handed Remy to Perry and dug around in her jeans pocket.

"You have a car?" Perry asked.

"Not yet." Prince answered. She produced a small pocketknife and began picking the lock of the car door.

"Prince, cut it out! That's someone else's car!"

"So?"

"SO, you can't steal cars!"

"I just did." Prince said, opening the door. "Get them in the back seat. You drive."

"Prince, this is wrong-"

"Well, the invasion starts in one minute. So either you drive this nice car and we get away, or you go buy a whole new car and we all turn into alien slaves. Get in."

Perry sighed and hopped into the driver's seat. He closed the door and pushed the button to lock the car.

He placed Remy in the backseat next to Sneakers. Sneakers promptly floated up until she hit the roof.

"She'll come down in a couple minutes." Prince said.

Remy stirred slightly. "Mommy?"

Prince strapped her in to the backseat. "Drive."

"I don't have the keys to start the car."

Prince jammed her pocketknife into the keyhole and twisted it. The car started.

"There ya go." She said.

Screams, shouts and crashes were audible from outside.

Perry backed the car out of the parking lot and drove.

"We should try to get to the quad-state area." He said. "Gretalyn only said she was taking over Danville- so far, anyway."

"Intense." Prince said. "Remy, honey, are you okay?"

"Mommy…"

"We're getting outta here, Rem. Don't worry."

Perry swerved to avoid a person being dragged out of his house by an alien. People were running frantically around. They may have been insane, but they were aware of what was happening.

"The others." Perry said. He turned the car around.

"You're going the wrong way." Prince said.

"My other pups." Perry said. "The boys. We have to find them."

He drove back the way they had come. The humans seemed to find nothing wrong with running around in the street. Perry had to work hard to maneuver around them.

He parked the car in front of a house with no lights on.

"Get down." He told Prince. "If anyone bothers you…"

Prince smiled and held up a small handgun. "I'll take care of it."

"Good." Perry looked over at Sneakers, who had begun to descend. She curled up on the car seat and fell asleep.

Perry closed the door of the car. He ran toward the house. He heard what sounded like a lamp crashing against the wall.

The front door opened, and two platypuses came running out. They appeared to be holding a hose.

"Come on!" Perry called to them.

Paisley and Peppily trotted over to him. Perry picked them up.

"Where are the others?"

"Pawmew is coming." Paisley said. "And Pamewa."

"Dey hawve to thwow wamps at de meanies fiwst." Peppily said.

"Toto and Pops? Where are they?"

"I dunno." Paisley said.

Another platypus came running out of the house, tossing marbles behind her. Her eyes lit up when she saw Perry.

"Daddy!" Pamela flung her arms around him.

"Where's Pal?"

"In the house. Smashing aliens. He'll probably come in a sec. PALMER!"

"Where are Pops and Toto?"

Pamela shrugged. "We haven't seen them since we ran in opposite directions. PALMER!"

Palmer bounded out of the house. A few aliens tried to follow him, slipped on the marbles, and crashed into the porch.

"Get in the van." Perry ordered.

He carried the twins inside. Palmer and Pamela hopped into the backseat.

Perry tossed the twins in the back and locked the door. He drove away just as the aliens regained their footing.

Remy sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Pawmew basheded an alien on da head." Paisley notified everyone.

"You guys okay?" Perry asked. He was shaking.

"More or less." Palmer said. "They came in through the wall, so we pretty much threw anything we could at them and got out."

"I threw a Barley doll at them." Pamela said.

"Was that our last stop?" Prince asked.

"No. This is."

Perry stopped in front of the Flynn-Fletcher house and got out of the car.

"You all stay in here. If anything happens, Prince is here."

"Prince? Are you related to my friend King?" Palmer asked.

Prince scowled.

Perry ran into the house, devastated to find that the front door was already open.

All the lights were out.

Perry walked into the living room. His heart dropped.

The furniture was completely overturned and torn up. Pictures had fallen from the wall, and the frames were cracked. The floor was covered in streaks of mud.

Perry sat down in the middle of the rubble and closed his eyes. The cool night air blew in from the open front door.

Other than the wind, there was silence.

Perry opened his eyes again. On the floor was a ripped-up piece of black construction paper. It had once been a tiny top hat.

** ...**

Perry was glad no one was talking on the drive to the quad-state area.

He had barely said anything when he arrived back at the car. He had simply gotten in, muttered "Gone" and started to drive.

He felt cold and stiff, like someone had drained everything out of his body and just left the outer shell.

"Turn right here." Prince said. "Go to Pumpkin Lane. I forgot to tell you, I bought a house. Needed more space for Rem. So I got one in the quad-state area. Never fully moved in, though. I was waiting for you. So… anyway. Fully stocked with food. We can hide there. Sorry I never told you."

Perry just nodded.

The car was silent again. Peppily put his paws on the window and gazed outside. Sneakers began to levitate again. Remy sleepily pulled her back down.

"Rem's fine." Prince said, looking in the backseat. "Probably just got a little stunned."

Perry nodded again.

He pulled in next to a sidewalk and turned the car off.

It was a huge house, and it looked very nice from the outside. It also looked like all of the other houses on the block.

Prince opened the back door and picked up Remy and Sneakers. Palmer hopped out of the car, followed by Pamela and the twins.

"Big house." Paisley said.

** ...**

Perry sat on the stoop in the backyard of the house and stared up at the sky.

It was nice and warm and cozy inside the house, but Perry didn't want to be inside. He just wanted to be alone.

Why couldn't anything ever work out to where everyone was safe? Why was there evil in the world? Why wasn't anything he loved safe forever? Why did it have to be taken away from him?

Perry remembered Gretalyn's twisted smile right before she jumped away from his grappling gun.

He remembered the torn construction paper lying on the floor, the top hat crushed almost beyond recognition.

Perry felt the heat rise into his chest. He stood up, grabbed a pot, and tossed it at the brick wall separating the house from all the others.

It broke into many pieces.

Perry grabbed another ceramic object. He had no idea what it was, but he threw it as well and watched it break.

Perry threw a plate and the empty plant pot that was on top of it.

Breathing hard, Perry sat back down on the stoop. He could find nothing else to throw.

He felt something warm and fuzzy wrap around his shoulders. He quickly turned around.

Palmer took a step back. "Sorry. Didn't mean to freak you out. You looked cold."

Perry nodded. He pulled the blanket around him.

"Did you regret getting us first?"

Perry shook his head.

"Then why did you break half of the things in the backyard?"

"Because I thought it would make me feel better."

Palmer said nothing.

Perry stood up.

"I'll glue them back together." He said. "I'll fix them."

He followed Palmer back inside.

** ...**

"Don't be sad." Prince said.

Perry burrowed under the covers. "I just can't believe they're gone."

"She didn't intend to wipe out all life. Just enslave it. They're probably fine." Prince said. She got into bed.

"I have to find them. I have to protect them."

"You're at more risk than they are. You tried to fight Gretalyn. I'm worried about my uncle, but I had to get my pups safe. Don't worry. They'll be rescued soon enough. You honestly think Danville's gonna take an alien invasion lying down? They're probably starting a rebellion as we speak."

Perry said nothing.

Prince turned out the light. Perry lay awake for a while.

He sat up. "Crusher. We forgot to get Crusher."

"She can take care of herself." Prince said.

Perry lay back down. "Sorry I wasn't much help… I'm just so sad right now."

"It's okay. The pups are all asleep. I put them to bed."

"Good."

Suddenly another voice was audible in the dark. "I cowdn't sweep."

"Which twin are you?" Perry asked.

"Paiswey."

"Come on up."

Perry felt tiny paws hop onto the bed. Paisley curled up next to him.

"The awiens wewe scawy." Paisley said.

"I'm sorry. You're safe now."

"I know. You wiw pwotect us. You awe invincibuw."

"I wish I was." Perry said.

"You awe." Paisley said sleepily. "You wiw save evewybody."

Even though he doubted it was true, it somehow made Perry feel better. He smiled.

"'Night, Paisley."


	6. Chapter 6

"_Don't cry, Agent P. It's all right. I promise you."_

_Perry jerked away from Monogram and continued to sob. How did he know it was okay? It wasn't. It never would be. He would never be the same again. And it was all the sidewalk's fault._

_"Here." Monogram said gently. He scooped Perry up into his lap and bandaged his hands. "I know it hurts, but you're all right. You just scraped your hands. It will feel better in a few days."_

_Perry sniffed and looked at his hands. They kind of felt better._

_"They'll go back to normal soon. I promise."_

_Perry felt himself growing. Monogram grew, too. Older and older, until his hair and mustache were completely white._

_He was guiding Perry down a hall. Perry was trying hard to keep himself together. All he could think of was how he had almost had something wonderful. It had been snatched from him before he had even had time to enjoy it._

_"It's all right, Agent P." Monogram said. "It's just gone back to normal now, that's all. Back to normal. Back in the first dimension, back with your family, back to keeping your identity a secret."_

_Monogram faded away._

_Perry was driving the stolen silver van. People were screaming as they were dragged away by aliens._

_Perry had to swerve to avoid a large paper top hat. _

_He looked around desperately. But he was alone._

_No one was there._

_No one told him that everything would be all right._

_No one told him that everything was going to go back to normal._

Perry woke feeling like he hadn't gotten any sleep at all. His throat and head felt funny.

Paisley was asleep, stretched out in the middle of the bed. Remy was sleeping soundly on the floor. She had dragged her blanket down from her room upstairs.

Perry got out of bed without waking Paisley and made his way down the hall into the kitchen.

"I made breakfast." Pamela announced. She was melting blueberries on a pan.

"Good." Perry said wearily. He picked Pamela up and placed her in a chair at the breakfast table. He switched off the stove.

"They have to cook for at least five hours." Pamela informed him.

"They're done enough." Perry said. "Do you want pancakes?"

Pamela nodded.

Peppily hopped into the kitchen, dragging a teddy bear along with him. "Daddiwy, thewe awe pictuwes of you on da wawl!"

"Yeah, Prince already furnished the place." Perry said.

"No." Remy said, coming into the kitchen. "This place was already furnished. Those pictures aren't of you. Just some platypus that looks like you."

"Are you all right?" Perry asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My armor protected me. Where is it, by the way? What happened?"

"Probably still in Danville." Perry said, cracking an egg into a bowl. "You sure you're okay? You were pretty out of it last night."

"Yeah, I think my head's just bruised." Remy said.

"Come see, daddiwy!" Peppily said, pulling Perry away from the bowl.

He dragged Perry to the carpeted stairs at the front of the house and pointed.

There was a large portrait of a female platypus and a male platypus with a very serious look on his face. Between them was their child, a platypus with hazel eyes.

"Weird." Perry said. "I feel like I've seen that pup before."

"It is you wiwf goldenwy eyes." Peppily said.

"It's not me. It just looks like me." Perry said. "It looks like someone else, too… who is that…"

He suddenly realized he had left Pamela alone with pancake batter and ran back into the kitchen. Pamela was dumping her cooked blueberries into the batter.

"Blueberry pancakes!" Pamela said happily.

"Okay then." Perry said.

** ...**

The tall, black-haired man sitting next to Phineas was totally Ferb.

There was no doubt about it. He so _wasn't_ Ferb that he _was_ Ferb.

Phineas was proud that he was able to figure it out.

"You know, Ferb." He said sleepily. "I still don't know why we got captured and brought into this room. What did we do?"

The room he and Not Ferb were in was a crystally blue color. It didn't look like there were any doors, and the room's walls and floors appeared to be moving like a liquid.

"Our play didn't even get to finish." Phineas said sadly. "And Perry didn't get to walk us home."

Not Ferb sighed. "I was busy tossing a tennis ball on the ceiling. They took me away before I got the chance to see it stick to the roof."

The real Ferb walked over to Phineas and sat down next to him.

"Ferb, I was just talking to you." Phineas said.

Ferb blinked.

"We were talking about how it was so unfair that we all got dragged away by those aliens. We can't let them take over, Ferb. What if they get rid of summer?"

"Summer." Not Ferb said.

Phineas picked up a magic wand he found on the floor. "We'll attack them with this sword!"

He was fully aware that the magic wand was not a sword, but he somehow also fully believed it _was_ a sword.

"We'll overthrow those aliens!" Phineas shouted, standing up. "They're not the boss of us! We'll defeat them!"

"YEAH!" Shouted Isabella, brandishing a rolling pin.

"YEAH!" Yelled Doofenshmirtz, holding up two Ducky Momo dolls dressed in little raincoats.

"YEAH!" Shouted all the humans.

"AND AS SOON AS WE FIND THE DOOR, WE'LL BEGIN!" Phineas said.

"_YEAH!_"

**...**

"Poor Lowe." Devon said.

Lowe was spread out on the floor, weak and pale. The flower on his head was in full bloom.

The room spun slowly around. It was in the center of some alien research facility, and the animals were all separated from the aliens by glass.

"They look human." Manfred Freeny the mink said. "But they aren't."

He peered through the glass at the aliens discussing things down below.

"Kyle isn't doing too well either." Peter said, dragging Kyle the kangaroo next to Lowe.

Kyle flopped down, revealing a shimmering flower blooming on his back.

"It's those flowers." Pinky said. "The aliens must have attached them. It's draining their energy."

Peter touched Lowe's flower lightly and jerked back as a small bud grew on his paw.

"Don't touch it." Pinky said, a little late.

Peter whimpered.

"Stupid aliens." Devon grumbled. "They bust into our planet, take us prisoner, and then weaken us so that we can't fight back?"

"We SHOULD fight back." Pinky said. "If we all join together, maybe we can beat them."

"Where's Perry?" Peter asked. "Did he get away all right? I don't see him here."

"We can't worry about Agent Perry now." Ernest the eagle said, coming up to them. He looked down at the weakened Lowe with little concern. "Agent Pinky is right. We must attack, and attack soon, before this flower spreads to all of us."

He glared at Peter, who had carelessly placed his flowered paw on Ernest's wing, causing a tiny bud to grow there.

"AGENTS, WILL WE FIGHT?" Pinky shouted.

"YES!" The agents all shouted.

"YES!" The mindless animals that were trapped along with them echoed.

"It's been too long, Juniper!" Agreed an elderly platypus named Pepper.

"No…" Kyle said weakly.

"EVERYONE EXCEPT KYLE AND LOWE, WILL WE FIGHT?" Pinky corrected.

"YES!"

"LET'S TAKE THEM DOWN!"

"YES!"

"WE JUST GOTTA FIND A WAY OUT OF HERE FIRST!"

**...**

"Staying hidden was a good choice." Malice the dog said, bolting up the door. "I just surveyed the streets, and they're completely empty. Aliens must've taken everyone in."

Finicky the cat yawned.

"Then my mother's been kidnapped." Crusher the platypus said. "We'd better go find her."

"Are you crazy?" Tesla the skunk said. "There are aliens out there-"

Crusher's pupils narrowed into reptilian slits. Tesla stopped speaking.

"I'm not going out there." Malice said.

"Come on." Crusher said. "They aren't gonna leave us alone. They'll find us eventually. Doesn't Royal Guard fight against unfair society?"

"There's no unfair society left to fight against." Finicky said. "The aliens captured everyone."

"The ALIENS are the unfair society, dimwit." Crusher said. "I don't care what you guys do. I'm rebelling. My mom would do the same for me. And she'd do the same for you, too, Malice."

Malice sighed. "Fine. I guess we might as well go to war against the aliens."

**...**

"Look, guys!" Daly said. "I figured out how to put a television screen in Gluum! Now we can check up on the people in the living world!"

The ghosts all cheered.

"Where should we check first?" Daly asked.

All the ghosts began to shout at once.

"Hang on." Daly said. "Let's let Bucky pick first. He is my right-hand man, after all."

A clanking dog skeleton trotted faithfully up to the moldy dirt stage that Daly was standing on.

"He got picked first because he's the same species." Muttered a skinny human ghost.

Bucky clattered his bones together.

"Danville. Right. Let's have a look." Daly said.

He switched on the television.

An empty street flashed onto the screen.

Bucky gave a sad clank.

"That's odd." Said Terrence, a turkey ghost. "It looks as though it's been…"

"Attacked." Daly finished. "Who could attack an entire city?"

Bucky clattered in anger.

"I'll change the view." Daly fiddled with the television's antennae. The picture changed to a bunch of humans trapped together in one room. They appeared to be starting a riot, arming themselves with plush toys and sports equipment.

"Yes, yes… trapped humans. This doesn't look good." Daly changed the scene again.

This time, the television screen showed animals.

"Peter." Terrence said. "Peter the panda. And Pinky the Chihuahua."

"My son!" Shouted a fennec fox in the back. He had only come to Gluum a few weeks before. "He needs help!"

"You know them?" Daly said.

"Yeah… it looks like they're stuck somewhere. We have to help them." Terrence said anxiously.

"Eh, might as well. Did anyone else have any other plans?" Daly asked.

The ghosts all shook their heads.

"Great, then. Let's go save Terrence's friends." Daly rubbed his paws together and tossed a blue flame on the ground. "Remember. Your Earth form is not half as powerful as your Gluum form. You can't physically harm people unless you possess another life form. Come along, ghosts! We have a town to save!"

One by one, all of the ghosts hopped into the flame.

Bucky stood guard, waiting faithfully for them to return.


	7. Chapter 7

Perry wandered aimlessly around the house. He had no idea what to do, and he really didn't feel like doing much of anything anyway.

His fury with the unwanted alien visitors mounted. How DARE they kidnap the boys? How DARE they take over the town? How DARE they…

"I care so much about you!"

Perry yelped. In his anger, he had accidentally stomped on a Carlos the caring clown doll someone had left on the landing of the top stairs.

Disgusted, he tossed Carlos into the pile of toys that sat in a large indoor balcony facing the front door. He headed into one of the bedrooms.

The pups and Prince were all downstairs, watching some movie Perry hadn't found interesting, so no one was in the bedroom at the moment.

The room was small and painted white. A large lace-covered bed sat in the middle, next to a tiny crib filled with toys. Pictures and antique plates were on the vanity across from the bed.

Perry looked at the pictures. There was that look-alike platypus again, grinning at the camera. And there he was again, playing with some toy. Another photo frame had a picture of a young female platypus.

Perry opened up one of the drawers and found a piece of paper that was slightly torn at the edges. It appeared to have once been a letter.

He began to read.

_Dear Pillow and Pickles,_

_I am so happy for you. Congratulations on your newborn son. I would like to meet him someday. Does he have brown eyes like you, Pickles? Or green like you, Pillow? Anyhow, I bet he's very handsome. He'll do amazing things. I hope you both are doing well._

_Sincerely,_

_Fitzwilliam the ferret._

Perry carefully placed the letter back in the drawer and closed it. He went into the next bedroom through the bathroom.

This bedroom wasn't quite as frilly. It seemed like an office. It had a large desk covered in papers, a television, a leather couch and a bed with chocolate-brown covers.

Perry sat down at the desk and sighed. No matter how hard he tried to distract himself, his thoughts always went back to Phineas and Ferb.

Suddenly two papers imprinted with the O.W.C.A seal caught his eye. Perry unfolded the first paper and read.

_PILLOW and PICKLES,_

_It is my regret to inform you that your son has been officially discharged from the O.W.C.A for attempting an overthrow of the agency and deliberately attacking other agents. He will have his memory erased and will be moved to a different location where hopefully he can live out the rest of his life in peace. I assure you that we were all just as shocked as you must be. We did not see this coming. We believe that it is dangerous to reveal his location to anyone lest his memory block come undone._

_Deepest condolences,_

_MAJOR FRANCIS MONOGRAM_

His heart thumping, Perry opened the second letter.

_PILLOW and PICKLES,_

_Although we have advised you to stay away from your son for memory reasons, we believe you needed to know that he and a mate recently had a litter of seven pups, one of whom appears to be missing. Attached is a photo._

_MAJOR FRANCIS MONOGRAM_

Perry knew who was in the photo even before he looked at it. But he checked anyway.

Percy and Pansy sat in the middle of the Danville Zoo, surrounded by six baby platypuses, barely hatched.

One of the platypuses was snuggled up against Pansy. He had huge brown eyes.

"Me." Perry whispered to himself. "This house used to be my father's house."

**...**

"Pass the salt."

Perry gazed at the cupboard on the wall opposite him. It was strange, seeing pictures of his father at such a young age. A father he barely knew.

Perry felt a strange desire to talk to Percy again, but it soon was replaced with anger. Percy hadn't responded to any of his letters.

"Pass the salt. Have you gone deaf or something?"

"Sorry." Perry said. He handed Prince the salt. She sprinkled it on her dinner and went back to staring at her book.

"I found some stuff of yours." Perry said. "It's back in my lair."

"What stuff?"

"Just clothes. I managed to wrench them out of Rex's hands."

Prince looked up. "You get boots, too?"

"Yes."

"Good. I missed those. A lot of memories are attached to them. These new ones I got a few weeks ago don't have the same feel."

"I figured."

"I wore those old ones the day we met." Prince said. "Remember?"

Perry sighed. "Yes. Not one of my best memories."  
>"Hey, most couples have some cheesy romantic tale of meeting in a rose garden or Mr. Slushie Burger or something. We've got an actual history."<p>

Perry's mind drifted back as he stared at the wall again.

_Perry crept very quietly along the back alleyway toward the noise._

_He had caught her in the act. The perpetrator was putting the finishing touches on her vandalism._

_"You're under arrest." Perry said, holding up his badge._

_She dropped her spray paint can in alarm and whirled to face him: a female platypus with green eyes and thick teal fur. She was wearing a leather jacket over a black outfit, complete with scuffed black boots._

_She quickly put on a bored expression. "What for?"_

_"Vandalism, obviously."_

_She narrowed her eyes. "It isn't vandalism. It's art."_

_"Yes, spraying two feet of illegible words on a wall is art."_

_"Beat it." She muttered, picking up her spray paint. "I don't have time to deal with you right now."_

_"Put the can down."_

_"I'm armed, punk. You'd better get out of here."_

_Perry cautiously walked toward her, holding out his grappling hook in one hand and his handcuffs in another._

_She quickly sprayed him in the face with her paint. He jerked back and wiped his face off._

_She snickered at him._

_Perry's anger grew. He jumped on her before she had time to respond and snapped the handcuffs onto her wrists._

_"Let's go." He said._

_"You're asking for it." She growled. "You're really asking for it."_

_"YOU asked for it the instant you joined the Silencers." Perry said. "Or are you their leader? Reckless, right?"_

_"No, Prince. I don't lead the Silencers. I'm just one of the people who goes around and paints illegible words on a wall."_

_"Are you mocking me?"_

_"No, I'm just borrowing your words."_

_"You'd better give me credit when you use 'em."_

_"I don't cite my sources, sorry."_

_Perry didn't laugh. He led Prince out of the alleyway._

_She suddenly tried to make a break for it. Perry snatched her by the arm and pulled her down._

_They wound up tussling on the sidewalk. Perry grabbed her hands and held them together._

_"It's not a good idea to resist arrest." He warned. "It just gets worse for you."_

_"Not if you get away." Prince said._

_She punched him, hard, in the eye. Perry cringed from the pain and fell._

_Prince broke away, tearing down the street, still in handcuffs. Perry could barely see her through his watering eyes._

_"Evil never wins!" He called after her. "We'll find the Silencers! You can't hide forever!"_

Perry finally broke his gaze away from the cupboard and sighed. "I couldn't stand you."

"We did have a mutual hate thing going on for a while, didn't we?" Prince said, grinning.

"I don't like to remember that part."

"That was the whole beginning. What's so interesting about that cupboard?"

"Huh?" Perry hadn't noticed he was looking at it again. "Oh. Well… the photos. My father… used to live here."

"That'd explain why the pup in the picture looks creepily like you." Prince said.

"I'm just kind of mad at him right now." Perry said. "And I wish I wasn't."

"You're a complicated individual." Prince said. "You're sad, you're mad, you're mad you're sad, you're sad you're mad…"

"There's just one person I usually talk to who helps me feel better." Perry said. "And he's not here."

**...**

"We HAVE to get out of here." Pinky said.

Lowe had begun to float. Kyle looked like he was about to. Peter's flower was almost in full bloom.

"And how are you today, Lowe?" Peter asked.

Lowe sighed. It seemed to take him a lot of effort.

"She'll use us all… to grow stronger." He warned. "She knows we are rebelling, and she knows who else is rebelling. She's gathering our strength to fight them."

"And out of all the highly trained animal elites to gather strength from, she picked Lowe." Billy the beaver said. "No offense."

**...**

"What's the point of coming up here if there are no life forms around to possess?" Arthur the alligator ghost demanded. He would have been swishing his tail in frustration if he still had the other side of his body. "We're about as helpful to the city of Danville as a summer breeze!"

"Summer breezes can be helpful." Piped up a dashing young ghost in a top hat and spats. "What if some guy was really hot, and about to die from heatstroke? And then a light breeze came by and saved him."

"Oh, can it, Mr. Brownie." Arthur snapped.

"Are we going back, then?" Asked a pig ghost.

"No way." Daly said. "We are helping the friends of Terrence. And Bucky, apparently."

"It'd be nice if we knew where they were." Said a snake.

"Hang on." Terrence said. "I have a good feeling about possessing a police officer in the Quad-State Area."

"That's miles away from here. How's that gonna help us?" Daly asked.

"I have this weird feeling like someone will lead us to where they are." Terrence said. "We have to try it."

Daly shrugged. "Might as well. We're only doing this for you. And there's nothing fun to possess around here, anyway."

They all started toward the Quad-State Area.

A woman ghost stopped and stared toward the mayor's building.

"You know something we don't?" Daly asked.

She shook her head and started to follow the others.

Daly waited until the snail ghost, Sylvester, had finally caught up to him before he started walking again.

"Well, Sylvester, are you ready to impersonate a police officer?"

"Isn't that illegal?" Sylvester asked.

"When you're alive, yes." Daly grinned. "But they can't do anything about you when you're dead."


	8. Chapter 8

Perry woke in the middle of the night.

He couldn't fall back asleep. He was tired, but he couldn't sleep.

_I'm sitting here, and the boys... all the people of Danville... need my help. Why am I not fighting?_

That thought had been bothering him for two days now.

He knew the pups needed him, but he felt awful for abandoning everyone else. Why didn't he go back and free them?

Because he had to stay here and protect the pups.

Why couldn't Prince just stay with them?

He debated waking her up and asking her, but he knew she was hard to deal with when she was tired. She'd probably insist on going with him and leaving the pups alone in the house, or she'd get mad at him and tell him to forget it.

Perry just had a weird feeling that something big was about to go down in Danville, and he had to get there.

Fast.

He jumped out of bed and crept to the front door.

A pink glow illuminated the door.

Perry turned around.

Sneakers was floating merrily on the balcony above the stairs.

"Go back to bed, Sneaks." Perry whispered. "I'll be back."

Sneakers turned around and floated back into her bedroom.

** ...**

In no time at all, Perry was blasting down the road in a car. He had no idea what kind of car it was. He didn't know that sort of thing.

A few months ago, Phineas and Ferb had played a car video game. Perry was surprised to learn that cars had names. They were usually a big last name with a random number. Perry just called all the cars in the game 'Car'."

He was well aware he was above the speed limit, and he felt bad about that. But he had to get to Danville.

He narrowly avoided hitting a road sign. It was hard to see things at his speed.

Suddenly he heard sirens.

"Dang." He muttered. "Can't a guy just streak down the road unnoticed?"

He smashed into a telephone pole. A few of the lights in the city went out.

Perry quickly backed up and crashed into one of the police cars.

"Whoops." Perry said. He zoomed away, the police in hot pursuit.

"STOP YOUR VEICHLE." One of the officers was saying through a megaphone. "YOU, IN THE RED MARSH 23."

"Oh, is that what kind of car this is?" Perry looked down at the hood of his car. "Could have been driving a breadstick, for all I know."

Despite his current situation, he was happier than he had been in the past few days. He was going to save his family. He was no longer sitting around doing nothing.

He attempted to whirl around a corner and promptly smashed into a wall. The windshield shattered, and the car stopped.

"Dang, I was on a roll." He said.

A policeman yanked him out of the car by the scruff of the neck. "ID."

Perry handed it to him.

"Perry the platypus, you are under arrest for reckless driving, destruction of this lovely wall…"

"Hey, your wall broke my car." Perry said.

"…and disturbing the peace. Hands behind your back."

Perry obeyed. The officer locked his wrists into handcuffs. "Stay put for one moment."

He began talking to another officer.

Another police officer got out of his car and walked over to Perry.

Perry wasn't sure whether he liked the look of him or not. He felt like he wanted to be near this officer more than anything, but he also felt a little annoyed by him. He also felt like the officer should go back to his police station and not get in the way of Ferb…

Ferb? Where did that come from?

"Let's head to my car." The officer said firmly. His voice was familiar. It irked Perry even more. He didn't like that voice. It was the voice of someone Perry disliked and yet respected…

The officer pulled him into his police car, stuck him in the driver's seat, and sat down in the passenger's.

He closed and locked the car.

"Whoops." The officer said. "Looks like I accidentally placed you in the driver's seat."

He reached over and, with a single squeeze from his hand, broke the chains connecting Perry's handcuffs.

"Whoops. Looks like I accidentally freed you. Oh, and since you're in a police car, no one will care if you're speeding, so… looks like I accidentally gave you a way out."

The officer's face changed.

"Oh, quit saying the word accidentally." He spat in a completely different voice. "It's just weirding him out now."

"Guys, guys." The officer's face changed again. "This is freaking him out even more. Let's just all get out and… Arthur, you stay in."

"Why do I have to stay in?"

"Just STAY!"

There was a flash of blinding light, and suddenly the police car was full.

Full of ghosts.

Perry stared at them.

"Hello there." Daly said. "Just passing through. Would you mind showing us to the life forms?"

"We saw Danville." Terrence said. "We came to help you, Perry."

Perry's eyes rested on Terrence. He felt happiness explode within him.

"Terrence… you came! You're here! How are you here?"

"In spirit." Daly snickered.

"I missed you, Perry." Terrence said.

"You too… I can't believe you're here!"

"You two can frolic through memory lane some other day. Drive, buddy!" Daly said. "Danville isn't gonna save itself!"

"I still don't see why Daly couldn't have been the policeman." Arthur grumbled, folding his policeman arms. "But it is nice to have a bottom half for once."

**...**

"Keep going!" Phineas shouted. "Slam against the wall!"

All the humans smashed anything they could against the wall. It appeared to be cracking a little.

"We're almost there! Come on! We can't give up!" Phineas yelled. "Maybe use something different than a Ducky Momo plushie, Doof. You got this, Mrs. Weaver! Put more muscle into it, Diminutive! Bust it down like you're busting down the door our invention is behind, Candace!"

Candace turned around. "Wait. You're actually aware that I try to bust you?"

"Bust us? All I know is that once you broke down a door our invention was behind. Really amazing door-busting skills. Come on, guys! On the count of three! One! Two!"

"THREE!" Everyone shouted.

The wall gave way. They all ran through, brandishing their random items.

**...**

"I hear people!" Pinky said, pressing his ear against the wall. "I think the humans got out!"

"Tell them to get US out!" Peter said.

"I don't speak English, I speak dog!"

"All right, agents! Make a lot of noise and maybe they'll hear us!" Ernest commanded.

The animals began to shout random words.

"Pumpernickel!" Pinky yapped.

"Tea leaf!" Clara clucked.

"BUTT!" Yelled Baby Ned.

**...**

"The animals!" Phineas skidded to a stop. "All the animals in Danville! They're in that wall over there!"

"We have to help them!" Monogram ran over to the wall. "Agent E? Agent L? Agent P? Are you all in there?"

"Perry!" Phineas called.

"Mr. Fluffypants!" Doofenshmirtz gasped.

"Bust down the wall!" Phineas said.

"Hello?" Candace said. "We can get away now!"

"Perry's in there!" Phineas said. "Come on! Let's bust 'em out!"

"I guess I might as well. That's the only busting I'm gonna be able to do today, seeing as mom and dad don't seem to care about you guys leading a huge riot against the aliens." Candace grumbled.

"DOWN WITH ALIENS!" Lawrence yelled.

The humans slowly broke down the wall. The first animal to hop out was Peter.

"Aww, an adorable panda bear!" Said Isabella.

"Peter!" Doofenshmirtz said. "Peter the panda! You're okay!"

Pinky hopped out next and quickly removed his fedora.

"Pinkykins!" Isabella cried. She picked him up and hugged him.

"We need to make the hole bigger." Phineas said. "There's an elephant stuck in there. Where's Perry? Perry!"

"Here he is." Candace said, picking up a random platypus.

"No, that's not him. PERRY!"

"I vaguely remember seeing him leave our performance before the aliens attacked." Ferb said. "Maybe he was going to find them."

"He has to be in here." Phineas said.

All of the animals were out.

"COME ON, GUYS!" Doofenshmirtz shouted. "WE MUST GET THE ALIENS SO I CAN TAKE OVER- I mean, we must stop _them_ from taking over the TRI-STATE AREA!"

A kangaroo hopped weakly out of the hole after the humans.

"There's only one animal left, and he's hurt." Phineas pulled a weary fox down from where he appeared to be levitating.

"That's a fennec fox." Ferb said. "They live in the desert. Their large ears keep them cool."

"He doesn't look too good." Phineas said. "I wonder if it has something to do with that flower-"

"DON'T TOUCH THAT." Ferb said sharply.

"Why?" Phineas asked.

"I've seen those in my 'Extremely Weird and Unknown to Man' plant book. They drain the energy of whatever it's on and transfer it over to another organism. The flower reproduces when it is touched by another creature. It is from the planet…"

"BOYS!"

Phineas looked down from the hallway window. Perry was standing miles below on the concrete.

"We're above Danville City Hall." Phineas said. "Who knew?"

"There's Perry." Ferb said. "And he has lots of white transparent people and animals with him. And a policeman."

"COME DOWN!" Perry called.

"I DON'T KNOW HOW!" Phineas shouted back. "THE HUMANS ALL WENT THE OTHER WAY!"

"WRONG WAAAYYY!" Shouted the humans, dashing down the hall again.

"NEVER MIND, I GUESS IT'S THIS WAY." Phineas said.

**...**

Perry grabbed the boys into a hug the instant they got down into the street.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I was so worried…"

"We're fine, Perry. They didn't hurt us or anything. But we found this little guy… do you know what's wrong with him?"

Ferb held out Lowe.

"Oh no." Perry said. "That's Lowe. I guess… keep holding on to him, Ferb."

A dark cloud was shaping in the sky. Perry looked around.

Every animal and human appeared to have gathered around City Hall, glaring up at the sky. Even Royal Guard had come. The ghosts of Gluum stood in the middle of everything.

"Something big's about to go down." Perry whispered.


	9. Chapter 9

Perry clenched his fists.

Phineas stood closer to Ferb.

The cloud began to spin. It swirled into a thick purple smoke that appeared to steam at the edges.

A ghost waved at Ferb.

Ferb waved back.

"Ferb, now is not the time to say hello to the dead people." Phineas said. "We have to stay alert."

The cloud suddenly exploded in a flash of purple light, and hideous, gruesome aliens poured out.

The humans charged forward, the animals right behind them. The ghosts howled.

The aliens went for the ghosts first, but quickly realized that they could do no damage to transparent people. They moved on to the living.

Perry found that the aliens were, in fact, not very difficult to fight off. They had only one eye with very poor vision, and although they had many limbs, they were quite uncoordinated.

Perry finished off the first alien and moved on to the second in no time.

Phineas was fighting using his plastic magic wand, which seemed to be working. Malice was blinding the aliens with spray paint. Baby Ned was scaring them off with his large horn.

Lowe yelped and leapt out of Ferb's arms as a fennec fox ghost whooshed past them.

"It's okay, Loweee!" The ghost said. "I am nice now! I just want to possesssss you and help youuu fighhhtt!"

"GET AWAY!" Lowe shouted.

"Nothin' like the ghost of your crazy father on your tail to get you energized again." Perry said.

Doofenshmirtz whacked an alien on the head with a Ducky Momo plush before it could attack Vanessa.

"How are things?" Terrence asked, standing at Perry's side while he fought.

"Good." Perry grinned. "A lot better now that you're up here. I miss you. A lot."

"I do too, my friend. But I've always been at your side in spirit. You know that."

"Yeah, but not literally, like now."

** ...**

"Kingsy!" Paisley said, shoving a magazine into Prince's lap. "I founded daddily!"

"My name's Prince. Not King." Prince sighed. "And even though this model on the cover of this magazine looks freakishly like Perry, it's not him. See? Her name's Pizza. It says so on the cover."

"I can't wead."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter. When I asked you to find Perry, I meant to find the real, living, breathing, not random-fashion-model on a magazine Perry."

"PEWWY!" Paisley shouted. After waiting a few moments, he said, "Sowwy. I have done awl I can."

"Whatevs." Prince said. "He's probably off moping somewhere."

"Or fighting the aliens." Pamela said, coming downstairs with Sneakers.

"No, he's hiding here with us. What planet do you live on?"

"Palmer and Remy just left. They heard him leave and went to follow him."

"Wonderful." Prince muttered. "All right. You four STAY PUT. Per's probably gonna blame me for losing Rem and Pal."

"I flusheded all the toilet papew down the toilet." Peppily informed them, coming out of the bathroom. "It went flushilie."

** ...**

"YES!" Lawrence shouted. "THE ALIENS HAVE BEEN DEFEATED!"

The humans all cheered.

Perry gazed at the blobs of alien on the ground.

It had been so easy.

_Too_ easy.

The fur on the back of his neck stood up.

"Not over." Terrence whispered. "It can't be over."

"It can't." Perry agreed. "And it's not."

Daly took a step forward and sniffed the air suspiciously.

The humans continued to celebrate.

"Come on, Perry." Phineas grabbed Perry's hand. "It's safe now."

"It's not." Perry said.

Phineas stopped.

"Can't you sense it?" Perry asked. "I feel like they have a bigger plot in mind. Like they know every weakness we have… and are working with that."

"They do." Lowe mumbled, lying limply on the ground. The ghost of his father was hopping in circles around him, singing a cheerful song about gravestones and griddles. "They... are strong emotional manipulators. I could sense it from the moment I saw them. And I believe my own abilities… may have added to theirs from this flower."

"So… you think…" Perry prompted.

The sky grew dark. Gretalyn's laugh boomed out across Danville, silencing the humans.

"Fighting physically was fun." Gretalyn said, lowering herself down from the sky.

She no longer looked like the cold grey-haired woman Perry had met a few evenings before. She was huge. Her one red eye glowed hungrily. Her tentacles swept humans away to make room for her body.

"Lots of fun." Gretalyn continued. "But that time is now over. I have no use for you creatures anymore. It is time for you to succumb, or die. And you WILL do one or the other. I will destroy all of you. I have had the power to all along. And my power has grown stronger, thanks to this strange furry big-eared earthling."

She poked Lowe with a tentacle. Lowe's father hissed and tried to claw at her, but his paw went straight through.

"I shall fight you all with the power of the mind." Gretalyn concluded her short speech with a horrible laugh.

Perry felt himself rise into the air. He looked around. Everyone else was rising, too. Higher and higher, until they were eye-level with Gretalyn.

The ghosts remained down on the ground.

"If you manage to live, you will succumb. Remember that." Gretalyn hissed.

Perry slipped into darkness.

** ...**

"I don't like the looks of this." Daly said.

The ghosts had already figured out that though the aliens could see them, they didn't appear to have the ability to hear them.

Because of this, Gretalyn seemed very unconcerned about the ghosts. She simply smiled at the unconscious life forms surrounding her. They appeared to be sleeping.

"They aren't dead." Arthur said. "We'd know if they were."

"Isn't there anything we can do to help?" Terrence asked.

Daly pounced into the air and floated toward an elephant.

Terrence watched in silent worry. He knew nothing could hurt Daly since he was already dead, but something was definitely wrong.

Daly carefully touched the elephant with his paw… and instantly vanished in a flash of white light.

"DALY!" The ghosts shouted.

"OH DEAR!" Mr. Brownie cried, his top hat falling off.

Their fear only lasted for a couple of seconds. Daly popped back into existence and floated down to them.

"I knew it." He said. "I know what's going on. You all listen to me, and we can save them."

The ghosts fell silent.

"The aliens have pitted the mortals against their own minds. They are being forced to walk through all their worst qualities and fears. It is a dark passageway, and they'll be swallowed alive by fright. Mortals are weak against that sort of thing. Anyhow, when I touched that elephant, I was transported into its mind. It was dark, and clearly frightening to the elephant. I seemed to be glowing a little bit. But I wasn't a good enough beacon for the elephant. It didn't know me well enough. If you ghosts touch a mortal you know well, you will most likely be able to guide them out of their terror. They're too paralyzed to find the way out, but you'll know it. That is how we'll save them."

"I think I met that guy once." Mr. Brownie said, pointing at a man Terrence knew to be Roger Doofenshmirtz.

"Fine, guide him. But one more thing: Mortals are helpless in their own minds. If they refuse to go forward, you have to find more light to make them less afraid. There will always be a light source somewhere you can find. But NEVER LEAVE THE MORTAL, or they will perish. You must instead use your ability to split yourself into two. But the farther you go from your other half, the weaker you will become. Be cautious. I'll stay here and make sure every single being gets a guide."

Terrence stood at Daly's side and waited while the ghosts sped toward their friends.

"I'll take Perry." Terrence said.

"That leaves one without a guide, since I'm taking that one." Daly pointed at Doofenshmirtz. "I knew his uncle's aunt's cousin's mother's grandmother's uncle. We need to find a ghost who knows that redhead that looks like a tortilla chip."

It was Phineas, Terrence realized. He desperately looked around for someone next to him and Daly.

"All the ghosts are gone." Terrence said.

A bony paw clawed through the ground. Bucky pulled himself up.

"Bucky, you dug yourself all the way here?" Daly asked.

Bucky gave a happy clank.

"Good timing. Do you know that kid?"

Bucky gave a happier clank. He began to hop around.

"Great. Lead him-"

Daly had to give no instruction. Bucky launched himself into the air, touched Phineas, and was gone in a flash of light.

"Go on, Terrence. I'll go to that guy once I'm sure everyone has a guide."

Terrence kicked himself off of the ground and rose toward his friend.

He gently touched his shoulder.

** ...**

Darkness.

Complete cold darkness.

And then… faint light.

Perry opened his eyes. He had been cowering against a thick, damp wall. He saw Terrence's figure before him.

"Come on, Perry. It's all right. I know how to get out."

Perry shivered slightly and stood up. "Are… you really there?"

Terrence nodded. He held out his wing.

Perry took it. It warmed his hand. He gave a shuddering breath.

"Sorry… I don't mean to be… I just… this place… I can't…"

"We're getting you out."

The words would have made Perry feel better, but for some reason nothing altered the fear in his heart. He was now afraid that Terrence would leave him…

"Don't go."

"I won't, Perry. I promise. Come on."

They walked down a long hallway. Mirrors lined the way. Perry saw himself reflected in them, but the faces of his mirror images were angry.

One of the mirrors showed him a picture of Phineas, Ferb and Terrence.

The mirror shattered.

Perry gave a yell and fell to his knees.

"It's not real." Terrence whispered. "It's all in your head. I'm real. Come."

Terrence helped him up and led him down another corner.

Perry's heart was beating furiously. He wanted to tell Terrence how grateful he was to have him by his side, but he couldn't muster enough energy. He gripped Terrence's wing tighter and tried to convince himself Terrence wouldn't leave him alone in here.

"I won't leave you." Terrence said, as though reading his thoughts. "It's okay, Perry. I'm here."

They were walking through what appeared to be a bad part of town. Perry tried to keep his head down, but for some reason could still see everything around him.

He saw Major Monogram standing at a bus stop, his hands in his pockets. Their eyes met.

Monogram's face changed. His eyes turned completely black, his teeth extremely sharp. He lunged toward Perry.

Perry jumped back with a wail. Monogram vanished in red flames.

"It's okay." Terrence said. "You're fine. It's all in your head."

"It's not okay." Perry whimpered. "It isn't. I want to leave. I want this all to end. I want to be back in Danville."

"We will be." Terrence said, wrapping his wing around Perry. "You'll be fine."

Perry felt warmth spreading where Terrence touched him. He nodded.

"Don't go."

"I won't, Per. I promise."


	10. Chapter 10

Terrence wished he could convince Perry that he would lead him safely back home. Perry was impossible to console, which was understandable. Some of the things that happened around them even spooked Terrence a little, and he didn't have the same associations Perry did with them.

They had walked by many windows with some faces Terrence recognized. They were other agents with glowing red eyes, glaring with hate at them as they passed.

Another room held a ghostly version of Perry who appeared to be looking for something. He kept sweeping across different angles of the room and peering closely at the floor. He grew smaller and smaller as he searched.

They made their way to a room that appeared to be a graveyard. A few skeletons were sitting in the dirt.

Perry suddenly shook his head. "No. I can't go on. I can't. Don't make me."

"Perry, it's not real."

"I can't. Dark. It's too dark. Too… hard. I don't want to… I don't want to go… I can't take it."

Terrence nodded slowly. "All right. I'll find some light."

"Don't go."

"I won't. I'll be right here." Terrence concentrated hard. He felt his energy split.

"Two Terrences." Perry commented softly.

"Yes. I will stay with you and find light." Terrence moved away. He was aware of being next to Perry, gazing at the path ahead. He was also aware of climbing over the skeletons in search of some kind of light source.

The smaller skeletons resembled Phineas and Ferb. A taller one, Doofenshmirtz.

Terrence suddenly realized that these were _meant_ to be the skeletons of the boys and Doofenshmirtz. That was why Perry didn't want to go through the room.

He found a small candle and a match sitting under a pile of bones.

_His_ skeleton.

Terrence frowned. He couldn't quite find the energy to reach the candle. He turned around and went back to Perry and himself.

"Move to the side a little." He said. "I can't go too far from my other half. If we stand here, I can reach the candle."

Perry was hiding his face. He allowed Terrence to walk him a few steps to the left.

Terrence made his journey again. This time he was able to reach the candle. He brought it back and put himself back together.

"Okay, I'm all here. You ready?"

Perry didn't answer.

Terrence lit the candle. It flickered slightly, and then filled the room with light.

"You're okay, Per. Come on. Focus on the light, not the bones."

Terrence guided him to the exit of the room. The small candle burned down just as they left.

"R-roomy in here." Perry said. "In my head… right?"

"Yes." Terrence said. "And we need to go to the right. We'll get out, Per. I promise you. You'll be fine."

Perry once again refused to go through the next room, which appeared to be full of machinery, and Terrence had to find a small lightswitch that didn't give light for very much time. They ran into the next room.

This one was dark save for a small spotlight. A Perry with his back to them was sitting in front of a mirror that was framed with eyes. The reflection in the mirror kept shifting back and forth between Agent P and a mindless platypus. The eyes on the frame did not move.

Then, as though he were suddenly aware of their presence, the Perry spun around in his chair to face them.

He had no face.

Perry started to cry.

"It's all right." Terrence said again. His words seemed to bounce off of Perry. "We're almost there. I can sense it. We're almost out…"

But Terrence sensed something else. Whatever was in the last room was bound to be something terrible. And anything worse than what they had already seen… Terrence didn't want to think about.

The ghostly Perry who had been searching for something appeared in the room. He floated over to the door and gazed at it.

He gave a loud shriek and vanished.

"It's all right, Perry." Terrence said. "I'm right here. I won't let anything bad happen to you. We're almost out."

The last room was dimly lit. A single screen stood in the middle of it.

Terrence saw nothing on the screen.

Perry didn't appear to, either. He wiped his eyes and tried to control his breathing.

After a moment, Perry narrowed his eyes, as though he were hearing something Terrence couldn't. He started to growl.

He was focused on the screen.

"There's nothing there, Perry." Terrence said.

But he had the feeling that there _was_ something there. Something he couldn't see.

Perry's eyes grew wide. He shook his head furiously.

"What's wrong, Perry?" Terrence asked.

Perry fell to the ground, sobbing. Terrence tried to pull him up. Perry didn't seem to know he was there anymore.

"Please, NO." He yowled. "NO. DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE. I CAN'T. I CAN'T. PLEASE… _NO!_"

"It's all in your head, Per."

"DON'T MAKE ME! I CAN'T TAKE IT…"

Desperately, Terrence looked around for a light source.

He saw nothing. No switch, no match, nothing. He couldn't even tell how the room itself was lit.

"Terrence, come back."

It was Daly's voice. Terrence looked around.

"You can't help him here. We have to find another way to get them out. This has nothing to do with their minds now. This is the alien trying to break them. We can't mess with this kind of thing."

"I promised him I wouldn't leave."

"He doesn't know you're there. We have to help him another way. Come back."

"I'm here for you." Terrence told Perry. He hoped he could be heard over the wailing.

He pulled himself back to the streets of Danville.

** ...**

"So I was leading my dude," Daly said, pointing at Doofenshmirtz. "Who for some reason has this pathological fear of lawn gnomes, pink dresses and pretzels, and we get to the end. I can't see anything scary, but for some reason he falls down and doesn't listen to me. He just keeps screaming. Anyone else have this problem?"

All the ghosts nodded.

Bucky clanked his bones sadly.

"Exactly. We can't hear or see anything because it has to do with impending death, which is something we ghosts can't sense. We can't tell when someone is about to die. Only when they ARE dead and, obviously, when they're alive. They are being forced by the aliens to make an impossible choice. This has nothing at all to do with their own mind. The alien is using their mind to torture them, to break them, so that they will be easier to conquer… but if they don't break, she'll certainly kill them. This is what she meant when she said they'd 'succumb or die'. At least we managed to get them through their own fears. Now we think of a new plan."

"I got nothing." Mr. Brownie said.

"Anyone seen the fox?" Daly asked.

Everyone looked at each other.

"Frederich Highton Land? Anyone seen him?"

"WHEE!" The fennec fox ghost burst forth in a flash of light and floated down to them. He began to skip around Daly.

"Hello, High Land." Daly said. "You missed the whole thing. Now, we're trying to think about how to help-"

"My Lowe is smart!" Frederich sang, hopping in circles. "My son shall defeat the aliens!"

"Your son, most likely, is cowering in the last room of his mind." Daly said. "Now, we have to think of a way to…"

"No, he isn't." Frederich pointed.

The fennec fox was slowly lowering from the circle of unconscious beings. When he touched the ground, he opened his eyes.

"How did you get out of that?" Daly demanded.

"I understand my fears." Lowe said. "And I know how to bring myself out of unconsciousness."

"He is a psycho-iatrist!" Sang Frederich. "I led him and then he got out himself!"

"You were actually in my head?" Lowe asked, with some interest. "I thought you were just part of the other fears."

He weakly padded over to a broken pole and picked it up.

Gretalyn the alien had her one eye closed, concentrating hard as she interfered with the minds of the animals and humans.

With surprising strength and speed in his weak state, Lowe slammed the pole against the alien, taking off a tentacle, which disintegrated into the street.

"Very interesting." Gretalyn boomed, her eye still closed. "You believe that you will be able to beat me."

She lashed out with a tentacle and slammed Lowe up against a wall. The pole fell to the ground.

Frederich growled and tried to bite her. His ghostly teeth made no damage.

"The earthlings are weakening." Gretalyn said. "There is nothing more you can do to help them- OW!"

She whirled around.

Lowe had managed to break free and had whacked her with the pole again. A second tentacle disintegrated.

"Lowe, Lowe, Lowe, Lowe!" Frederich sang.

"Set down that horrible earth metal!" Gretalyn hissed.

"Set down the earthlings." Lowe responded.

"Never!"

Lowe tossed the pole. It sliced off another tentacle.

"I will destroy you!" Gretalyn yelled.

"It's truly a pity." Lowe took a deep breath. "You came down here to be recognized, and everyone still hates you."

Gretalyn growled.

"No one cares about you." Lowe's voice wobbled slightly. "And no one ever will. You're still the outcast. You always have been. You will be mocked forever."

Gretalyn yelled. She began to melt.

"I'm sorry." Lowe said sadly. "But that was the only way to defeat you."

"I HATE EVERYONE!" Gretalyn shrieked.

She vanished into nothingness. Lowe appeared to regain his strength.

"They're feeling aliens." He said, shaking his head. "They're extremely sensitive. Their weakness is what they chose to fight with… I had to hit her where it hurt in order to destroy her."

"Genius! Genius! My Lowe is a genius!" Frederich sang happily.

The beings began to lower to the ground.

Bucky clanked happily and ran over to Phineas, who was rubbing his eyes. Ferb was shaking slightly.

Perry was lying on the ground, covering his face. Terrence ran over to him.

"You okay?"

Perry uncovered his face. "You were really there?" He asked.

"Yes. I was always there, guiding you."

"Thank you… for doing that… sorry… I didn't get to tell you." Perry wiped sweat from his brow. "It was… awful in there…"

"Perry, that last room. What was there?"

"Gretalyn's voice." Perry said quietly. "I had to choose… between Phineas and Ferb. Who would live. If I didn't pick… she would kill them both slowly and painfully… I… never chose… I just appeared here… I'm so glad I'm out of that nightmare… I couldn't… choose…"

"You're back. Everyone's safe. Danville is safe."

"You told me it would happen. I wanted to believe you… that I would be fine…"

"You were scared. It's okay."

"The boys. Where are they?"

"Right over there." Terrence pointed. "They're fine, too."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Per."


	11. Chapter 11

"You okay, Ferb?"

Ferb nodded. He patted Phineas on the shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm okay too. That was scary."

Perry hadn't said anything to either of them. He was still shaken. Everything had been much too overwhelming.

"The last part was the worst." Phineas said. "I'm glad I woke up."

"You were one of my choices." Ferb said quietly.

Phineas sighed. "You and Candace."

"You and you." Perry told them.

Doofenshmirtz never told him who he had to choose between, but he avoided eye contact with both Perry and Vanessa for the rest of the night.

** ...**

"We have to go."

Perry opened one eye. Terrence was sitting on the windowsill of Phineas and Ferb's room.

"Are you sure you can't stay?" Perry asked, getting up to see him.

"I'd like to get home." Terrence said apologetically.

"This is your home." Perry said.

"I know."

Terrence tried to squeeze his hand, but it went right through. Perry sighed.

"It was so nice having you there with me in my head, and I was too freaked out to enjoy it." Perry said.

"It was pretty intense in there." Terrence agreed.

"What happened to Gretalyn?" Perry asked. "I forgot to ask."

"Lowe defeated her." Terrence said. "Using pretty much the same method she used against you."

"Wow. He was the weakest one there."

"Strong in mind, though. He was impressive. How do you think you'll spend your first alien-free day?"

"Recovering." Perry sighed. "I can't get those images out of my mind. I guess they already WERE there in the first place, but still…"

"Perhaps if you figure out what they meant-"

"I know what they all meant. The ghost Perry was my fear of loss, as was that room with all the skeletons of people I didn't want to lose. That mirror that broke… same. And faceless me… I don't really feel like I'm anyone, you know? I'm always Agent P or a mindless pet. Never me."

"You are you." Terrence said. "And they're both you."

"I guess so." Perry said. "Anyway. Thank you again for guiding me."

"Always. Just holler if you need anything."

Perry smiled. He lay back down in his pet bed, and Terrence vanished.

** ...**

"HAPPY EVERYTHING-IS-NORMAL-AGAIN DAY!" Monogram shouted as Perry entered his lair. He placed a party hat on Perry's head.

"If everything is normal again, why do I have a weird hat on?" Perry asked.

"Come have some cake, Perry." Monogram said, leading Perry over to a large cake with a picture of the melting Gretalyn on it.

Perry helped himself to a small slice and sat down next to Peter.

"Yesterday was interesting." Peter commented.

"Interesting? It was terrifying! Were you not faced with the choice?"

"Oh, I was." Peter said. "But I don't really care about other people like most animals do. I was forced to choose between ice cream and bamboo. I would have picked bamboo, but I woke up."

Perry took a bite of cake. "I'm just glad this is all over."

"So is Lowe." Peter said. "Now he doesn't have a drain flower on him. And I'm happy the humans are normal. But I'm worried Monogram isn't normal. He's wearing a weird hat."

"COME ON, AGENTS!" Monogram shouted. "LET'S DANCE!"

"Yeah, he's probably still a little weird from the alien goop." Perry said.


End file.
